Wholeness-based recovery coaching for women ready to live from choice, not patterns.
Closing the gap between not drinking and actually living
If you’re here, you’re probably in one of three places…
Maybe you haven’t stopped yet. Maybe you’re still bargaining with yourself—
“Only on weekends.”
“Just one glass.”
“If I set rules, I’ll be fine.”
But the rules keep breaking, and you keep lying to yourself about why.
Or maybe you did stop. You string together days—maybe weeks—and then something happens: a bad day, a trigger, a moment of “fuck it.” Suddenly you’re back where you started, wondering why you can’t stay quit.
Or maybe you’ve been sober for months, even years.
On the outside, you look solid.
On the inside?
You’re still white-knuckling.
Still swapping one compulsive behavior for another.
Still performing “fine” while feeling anything but.
Here’s what no one tells you:
The gap between not drinking and actually living doesn’t close on its own.
It’s one thing to be sober; it’s another to live well sober.
I start there.
hi, I’m Ashley kelsch
I know the mental gymnastics of trying to control drinking, food, or anything that quiets the noise.
I help women close the gap between not drinking and actually living—through wholeness-based recovery coaching rooted in thought work, nervous system regulation, and pattern work.
If you’re questioning your drinking, trying to quit, or sober but still struggling, you’re not broken. You’re living inside patterns you’ve never been taught how to work with.
It’s one thing to be sober; it’s another to live well sober.
RETHINKING DRINKING — 6 Weeks
For women questioning their drinking or living in the negotiation cycle.
If you're constantly debating whether you should drink, setting rules you break, or waking up disappointed in yourself—not hungover, just out of integrity—this pathway gives you the clarity you’ve been missing.
CHOOSING SOBRIETY— 6-12 Weeks
For women who want to quit but can’t stay quit.
If you keep starting over—promising yourself you’ll stop, making it a few days or weeks, then slipping back into the cycle—you’re not failing. You’re fighting patterns you were never taught how to work with.
EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY— 3-6 Months
For women who are sober but still struggling internally.
Sobriety doesn’t fix the patterns underneath it. If you’re reactive, deregulated, anxious, people-pleasing, or swapping alcohol for other compulsions, this pathway is where the real transformation begins.
We explore the thought loops, emotional patterns, and unmet needs driving your drinking so you can finally understand what’s actually going on beneath the surface. This is where you learn to make decisions from truth, not fear, pressure, or shame.
This pathway helps you build emotional tolerance, stabilize your nervous system, and understand the internal triggers that lead to relapse. With daily support, real-time tools, and pattern work, sobriety becomes something you can actually hold—not something you white-knuckle your way through.
We work on the emotional and behavioral patterns that have shaped your life for years, rebuild internal safety through nervous system work, and align your identity with the woman you’re becoming. This is where you stop performing “fine” and actually live well sober.
this side of sober: A newsletter
this side of sober: A newsletter
Weekly reflections on the deeper work of recovery—for women who want to close the gap between not drinking and actually living.
Maybe you've stopped drinking. Or you're thinking about it.
Either way, you know there's more to this than just not drinking.
Welcome to this side.